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Make Your Child
Bully-Proof
Seven tips for a happy school
year
(ARA) - "Sticks and stones
may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Remember
that old rhyme? It wasn't true when you were in school, and it
isn't true now. Teasing, taunting and other forms of bullying
can cause serious emotional harm to children that lasts much
longer than the bloody nose or scraped knees. Ignoring or excusing
the behavior, saying things like "kids will be kids,"
only perpetuates the situation.
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Bullying takes place in every
school: According to the Heroes and Dreams Foundation, a nonprofit
resource center for parents in Minneapolis, on average, one student
in 10 is bullied at least once a week, and one in three has experienced
bullying as either a bully or a target during the average school
term. The children most likely to experience bullying are in
fifth, sixth and seventh grades. Boys are more likely to be involved
than girls.
Bullying takes place in every
school: According to the Heroes and Dreams Foundation, a nonprofit
resource center for parents in Minneapolis, on average, one student
in 10 is bullied at least once a week, and one in three has experienced
bullying as either a bully or a target during the average school
term. The children most likely to experience bullying are in
fifth, sixth and seventh grades. Boys are more likely to be involved
than girls.
There are three types of bullying.
It can be physical (hitting, kicking, taking things or returning
things damaged); verbal (name-calling, taunting, insulting);
or emotional (shunning, spreading nasty gossip). It is deliberate
and hurtful behavior, usually repeated over a period of time.
Bullying is almost always done to kids who are perceived to be
more vulnerable than the bullies. |
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The fear of being harassed in
school gets in the way of learning, and makes going to school
a miserable experience. Being bullied can make children feel
lonely, unhappy and unsafe. Children who are being bullied may
develop stomach aches, nightmares, nervousness and anxiety.
What Parents Can Do
If your child complains about
being bullied at school, or if you suspect that might be happening,
here are some suggestions.
* Make it clear that you accept
your child's reports of what is happening and that you take them
seriously. She needs to know she has someone on her side who
is willing to help her. Today, you are her hero. Reassure her
that this situation can be resolved.
* At the same time, let her know
that you do not think this is her fault. Her confidence has already
taken a big hit, and she already feels like a victim.
* While it is natural to want
to protect your child by solving the problem for him, it will
serve your child better if you teach him how to solve the problem
himself. By learning the skills to stand up for himself, he can
use them in other situations.
* Ask your child how she has
been dealing with the bullying, talk about what else can be done
and discuss what actions you can both take to solve the problem.
Reassure her you will consult her before taking any action.
* Teach your child how to respond
to a bully in a bold, assertive way. Practice with him at home
by role playing. Participation in other activities builds confidence
and develops social skills, making it easier to find ways of
saying, "Leave me alone."
* Suggest that your child stick
with two or more other children when at the playground, the bus
stop or wherever she comes face-to-face with the bully.
* Make sure your child knows
it is okay to ask for help from a teacher or other adult. Practice
what he'll say so he doesn't sound like he's whining or tattling.
* Determine if your child has
healthy friendships with other children. If not, perhaps she
can benefit by developing better social skills. Encourage her
to invite friends over to your home and participate in school
activities.
* If necessary, meet with school
representatives to discuss the problem.
Remember, bullying is not a normal
part of growing up. Help your child develop the necessary tools
to stick up for himself and others. |
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