- Mean Girls:
How to Combat Bullying
 (ARA)
- Does the word “bully” evoke an image of a tough,
muscular boy beating up on a skinny kid on a school playground?
Despite the popular perception that only boys are playground
and bus bullies, girls’ involvement in bullying is just
as common and visible -- and with equal emotional and social
consequences.
“As a middle school administrator
in an urban school setting, I deal with large incidences of student
harassment involving threats and disparaging remarks,” says
Dr. Dallas Jackson, professor of educational leadership at Argosy
University/Tampa and assistant principal of curriculum at Morgan
Fitzgerald Middle School in Pinellas County, Fla. “Over
50 percent of the bullying incidences involve one girl picking
on another.”
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The usual motivation behind bullying
is amplified by relational aggression, which can socially isolate
the victim while also increasing the social status of the bully.
Perpetrators might be driven by jealousy, a need for attention,
anger and fear of (or need for) competition. One reason girls
choose this type of bullying, rather than more direct acts of
harassment, is that the bully typically avoids being caught or
held accountable. These bullies are often popular, charismatic
girls who are already receiving positive attention from adults.
Acts of relational aggression
are common among girls in American schools. Specific acts can
include rumor spreading, secret-divulging, alliance-building,
backstabbing, ignoring, excluding from social groups and activities,
verbal insults and hostile body language, such as eye-rolling
and smirks.
What can be done to help curtail
bullying at the school level? Jackson points to a number of measures
schools have implemented, such as the use of close-circuit television
and frequent intervention by school guidance counselors and school
resource officers. “Teen girls can oftentimes have a vengeance
towards one another, and it requires a team approach to resolve,”
says Dr. Jackson. Some schools even have a “zero-tolerance”
policy on bullying, and require every student to sign an anti-bullying
contract that is referred to during mediation and discipline
procedures. |
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The first and most important
step a bullied teenage girl should take is to report the bullying
and harassment to parents and school officials. According to
Jackson, the middle school at which he works enforces a “first
come, first heard” rule. “Students are told that if
they are participating in or retaliating in an incident of harassment
or bullying and are called to the office, the policy is going
to favor the reporter. This measure has increased incidences
of reporting and minimized the acts of bullying that happen on
a daily basis.”
Parents can take a proactive
step in helping their daughters by watching and observing emotional
signs and body language. When their teen daughters appear sullen,
secretive, and moody, many parents attribute these behaviors
to normal hormonal changes and adolescent rebellion. However,
these may well be symptoms that the girl is a victim of relational
aggression. School absences, anxiety, depression and long-term
mental health concerns can all be consequences of relational
aggression.
The following are some practical
tips provided by Dr. Jackson that girls can follow if they find
themselves victims of bullying:
* Get an adult involved immediately.
* Do not associate with friends
who require things or favors of you as a condition of friendship.
* Do not participate in gossip.
This includes being a third-party message conveyer.
* Assess your situation by knowing
who is good and who is not in your circle of friends.
* Maintain an open and honest
relationship with your parents and family to maintain a support
system in trying times. |
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