- Father Son Relationship
- 3 Little Known Secrets
To Insure Success
This for all the fathers who
have problems raising their sons, and for the fathers who would
like for their relationships to be better. Hello my name is Anthony
Willis and I want to ask you a couple of questions. How many
times have you seen other fathers and their sons not speak to
each other for months? Years? Also, of those people how many
times was the reason(s) for the lack of communication due the
father not letting the son express his thoughts? How many times
was it due to the father not being able to cope with the son's
individuality, i.e. the son's need to be "his own man"?
Have you done this yourself?
Those simple questions have been
given complex answers by many of us that have sons, yet the problems
that arrive have destroyed many relationships between fathers
and their sons. The sad truth is that there was really no need
to go through that hardship at all! Would you like to know why?
Well as the father you are primary
example of what a man is. You are his teacher and trainer into
manhood. He is constantly looking to you for guidance on how
to act, think, and speak. Well, by using these 3 little known
secrets you can either enhance your relationship with your son
or they will serve as a reminder for you.
Encouraging them to be problem
Allow them to make mistakes,
Don't try to relive your youth
1. Encouraging them to be problem
This is especially critical if
your son is still young, teach him how to solve problems. It's
better that he's in the habit of quick thinking when it comes
to problems, because otherwise those problems lands on your doorstep
one way or another. If he's still young, say about 4 to 11 years,
you instill the problem solving habits through little games or
situations that you come with while the two of you are playing
together. This will be "fun" to him and he may not
even realize what you are doing at the time, all he know is that
he's "having fun with daddy," which is a good thing
for your relationship. Later on this will help in becoming a
man, and being a father like you!
2. Allow them to make mistakes,
The difference between a mistake
and an error is that a mistake is usually made when a person
has a lack of knowledge and an unwanted result occurs. An error
is made when a person "knows" the good and bad options
of their choice and they choose the bad option and get the bad
results. Here are examples of the two:
Your son, let's say 17years old,
is walking home from school and a classmate offers him a ride
home. The classmate, who turned 18 the month prior, has driven
to school several times in the car, which is his mother's car.
Now on the ride to your house, they are pulled over by police,
why? Not because of drunk driving, seat belts, or speeding, but
because the classmate took the car without his mother's permission.
She didn't know he in fact had the car, so she reported it stolen,
and... your son calls you from the police station.
This is a situation where of
course you are mad and upset, however he had no way of knowing
that the car was reported stolen, nor did the driver. It was
a mistake! How do you handle it? You explain to him to ask questions,
and give him situations where it is in his best interest to ask
those questions! When you do that, you are building the bridge
for him to come and talk to you about anything. Allow only a
small amount, but make sure you inform him so he can make better
Your son, let's say 17 years
old again, has a girlfriend and of course they go to school together.
One day coming home from a half-day of school, he walks her home
as usual. However since it was a half day of school; her parents
aren't home. She invites him in and naturally being attracted
to each other, they become intimate with each other. On top of
that, they did not use any protection. A couple of months go
by, and shortly there after the girl is pregnant, and her parents
are calling for you...and him.
This is a situation where no
doubt you are so mad at him, that you become hoarse from yelling
at him, why? Because 9 out of 10 times, you told him about sex,
and about protection, becoming a daddy, e.t.c. How do you handle
it? You try your best to drive in him to not make bad decisions,
and to never let "pressure" be his deciding factor
to do anything! Thoroughly teach him what peer pressure is, and
how to handle it! Train him so that he doesn't what to make any
errors, not because of fear of you, but because it's just not
the best decision to make!
3. Don't try to relive your
youth thoroughly through him:
This is a mistake that some fathers
make, especially in the sports world. Don't get me wrong, every
man should want his son to be successful, but "your tunnel
vision" on "his success" can drive a wedge between
you two. The father may be so consumed with the "potential"
dollars of his son making it to the "big leagues" or
"the pros", that he forgets that his son is a child
and just want to have fun. The same goes for parents who push
their children academically, but with such rigidity that the
poor child, can't handle even the slightest imperfection and
feels destroyed. The sports child feels like the father loves
the game/money (potential) more than his own son! Is that the
case for you? How do you handle it?
You handle it properly by letting
them be children and live a little. Give them some freedom, because
if you have been training them since they were young, they are
probably going to do the things you were encouraging them to
do anyway. However, the children need room to find themselves
also. No one wants be in a career that they hate, or better yet
they did it because of you solely! They'll hardly enjoy it, and
quit it all together to pursue their inner passions. Find out
what their inner passions are early in their lives and incorporate
some "rock solid principles" for them to apply in their
lives, so that they will be successful in whatever your sons
choose to do!
In conclusion, ENJOY the rest
of the teaching process, it is or should be every father's dream
and life goal for son(s) to go farther than he did. Remember
how far they go is a testament to the FATHER SON RELATIONSHIP
that you are establishing now! By you teaching them this way,
they will in turn teach their sons the same way and because of
YOU, your family will have continual growth!!! Build your Father
Son Relationship TODAY!