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Learning From Life
By Charlie Badenhop
The quality of the life we live,
is based upon the learning we derive from our experiences. I
know that for myself, it is sometimes easy to feel that "Life
has taught me some tough lessons, and the scars do not heal easily."
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At other times it becomes apparent
that if I had somehow learned something different from a particular
challenging situation the quality of my life would be much more
rewarding.
In working with a client struggling
with alcoholism, we spent our first session with the client telling
me in detail how he had come to live such an unhealthy debilitating
life. In short he said: "Both my parents were alcoholics,
and both of them were physically abusive to me. I grew up never
knowing what bad thing would happen next. I learned from my parents
that the best way to not have to feel the pain and uncertainty
of life was to escape into an altered state of alcohol induced
euphoria." When listening to a client tell such a sad story,
it is easy to believe that their situation was all but preordained. |
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As fate would have it, a week after
beginning to work with this client, I went to a business luncheon
to hear an inspirational speaker discuss how we can live our
life fully, and succeed in times of hardship. Indeed, the speaker
was truly inspirational. When the talk was over I waited around
to thank him. After introducing myself and thanking him, I asked
him how he had come to lead such an exemplary life. He looked
around to make sure no one else was listening and in a low voice
he said the following: "Both my parents were alcoholics,
and both of them were physically abusive to me.I grew up never
knowing what bad thing would happen next. I learned from my parents
that the worst possible way to deal with the pain and uncertainty
of life was to escape into an altered state of alcohol induced
euphoria. My parents taught me a difficult but very important
lesson. I learned from them that staying present in the moment
is the only real chance we have for living a fulfilling life."
What a truly great example of
embodied spirit the motivational speaker offers us. The quality
of our life is not dependent on the circumstances we encounter.
The quality of our life is dependent on what we learn from the
circumstances we encounter. Perhaps the greatest example of this
wisdom is present in the life of Nelson Mandela. He is a man
that suffered great pain and hardship, and somehow his suffering
seasoned his soul in a way that has led him to be compassionate
and caring.
In the course of exploring how
to live our life more fully we can consider pondering one question
over and over again, "What can I learn from the difficulties
I am experiencing, that will actually ADD to the quality of my
life?" At the very least we can begin to entertain the fact
that: We can derive a wide range of learning from any single
circumstance, event, or relationship. When we get the most stuck
in life is when we believe that the one thing we did learn is
the only thing that can be learned. |
