Rebuilding:

Making Little Changes to Fully Proclaim Our Power

By: Jennifer Snyder

I believe that change is possible when a small group of committed individuals work toward the same goal, and that we can transform the opinion that women never fully recover from divorce.

My women’s book discussion group recently read The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make A Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell. In his book, the author states that ideas, products, and behaviors spread like viruses do, and that often very simple but powerful aspects can work together to elicit tremendous change.

My vision of a powerful divorced woman is not one who is aggressive or self-centered, but someone free of “victim beliefs”. Certainly divorce hurts, and I would never try to minimize its destructive force and painful feelings of loss and regret. But what if we changed society’s perception that divorced women can take their own time to grieve, then launch into the active role of crafting a new life for themselves and their children - one based on their dreams? While contemplating the book’s premise, I found myself trying to fit Gladwell’s theory of tipping points into my mission for empowering divorced women. My own ideal vision of the future is one where women whose marriages have ended soon begin to live according to their own values and beliefs.

Today, when nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, our society is quick to declare that women will suffer both professionally and financially, and have difficulty parenting children alone. But that isn’t true, is it? What about women who, through determination and sheer love for their kids, live richly meaningful and successful lives on their own terms?

What would happen if a small group of us chose to dispel this limiting belief in order for divorced women everywhere to feel comfortable with who they are, and ready to proclaim their power? Malcolm Gladwell believes that little changes can have huge effects. He says that small, close-knit groups have the ability to magnify the epidemic potential of a message. He prefers small groups to large bodies in order to effect change.

Is the perfect small group the readers of this article?

The author goes on to state that tipping points occur when exceptional people hear about a trend and through social connections, knowledge, power of persuasion, and energy, help to spread the message. A single individual doesn’t need all of these qualities but a group possessing those characteristics has unimaginable power to spread the word.

What role could you serve to change society’s perception of divorced women?

Where do your strengths lie?

It is critical for the message to have an impact and move individuals to action. I believe that expressing our belief to women everywhere - that is letting them know they have both power and choice - is a vital one.

What can you do to spread the word?

Finally, Gladwell states, for a tipping point to occur, there must be a bedrock belief that change is possible. Change for women is possible.

Are you ready?