- Secrets To
Get To The Heart Of Your Loved One
by Caroline Therancy
The other day, I was home with
my sweet love when my sister called. She was in a bad mood because
she was babysitting my cat (I was out of town) and my cat had
made a mess in her sofa. I was sorry that happened. I went in
the bedroom to think it over in silence.
After a while, my sweet love
joined me and the first thing he said was :
I can see this situation
seems to bother you, isnt it?
In that moment, I thought he
was the greatest boyfriend ever. I felt understood and comforted.
I was in a better disposition to be the best partner that I could
be for him. Then I realized that he was talking the same language
of love as mine. I am a Visual and I understand better when we
communicate with me in visual ways. He used the words see
and seems. I am certain that the Auditory
and Feeling people out there dont really get it but, Visuals
out there might better understand how I must have felt.
Having the same communication
style or using the communication style that your partner is using
greatly avoids missed connections, unnecessary challenges and
increase intimacy by reducing the events of resentment. Passion
starts to fade away when there is build up resentments. Communicating
the right way is one of the tools to keep lasting romance.
There are 3 types of Love Language;
according to the author, Tracy Cabot (How to make a man fall
in love with you), you have the Visual, the Auditory and the
Feeling style. We use all of those 3 ways to communication but
one is predominant.
How can we identify the styles?
Visual expresses enthusiasm or
stress similar to those comments: Dont you
SEE how this is amazing?! or Youll
SEE. Youll love it or You dont
LOOK in a great shape today. An Auditory will say
This SOUNDS good when a Feeling will
say This FEELS good. I have the IMPRESSION that will
work or I know how you FEEL
or I understand
With Visual, its the look
that counts. They usually are well dressed. They take care of
their appearance. They relax in a beautiful, well harmonized
environment. Things have to be in order around them. They look
for partners who take care of their looks too. When visual think,
their eyes look up in the air because they are visualizing
what they will say or the situation in their mind. They will
tell you how things looked. They dont
talk about their feelings early in the relationship because they
need to see where the relationship is
leading first. They like to watch television, read, arts, landscaping,
anything that stimulates their eyes.
An Auditory are very sensitive
the sounds around them. They always have music at home or in
their car. They talk a lot because they like to hear
themselves talk. They are easily distracted by noise. They adore
being talked softly in the ear. The quality of the voice of their
partner can be a true turn on or a definitive turn off. An Auditory
will look on the side when they think because they have to hear
the voice in their head. Auditory will tell you how
things sounds. Auditory will have the latest stereo
system in town, they prefer going to concerts, they like to talk
on the phone and they have a special talent for music.
A Feeling person reacts on intuitions
and their guts. They are willing to sacrifice elegance for comfort
(no high heels for women and tight collar shirt for men). They
want to feel great at all times and in every situation. They
look for partners who are great at sharing feelings. They are
perceived as people with a great heart. Women are easily seduced
by Feeling Men because they have the ability to express their
sensitive side and are great listeners, so common to womens
Feeling people like to touch,
to kiss and they greatly need a constant physical expression
from their partner. Feeling people look down when they think
because they need to get the impression.
Feeling people will tell you how things felt.
They like to relax lye in the sun, work out, massage, drink,
and dance, and eat great foods. They will most likely do risky
activities because of the rush of extreme sensations. They are
looking for trills.
If you are with a partner that
has the same communication style as yours, enjoy yourselves.
If you have two different communication styles, dont conclude
that you are not made for one another and its maybe time
to see a counselor (a therapist or
a lawyer!). This article
will give you more tools to help communication at the maximum
and get a deeper connection with your mate or future mate.
How can we capture the heart
of a Visual, an Auditory or a Feeling person?
With Visuals, you need to use
visual terms; from my perspective, I
can see what you mean, the more I look
into this, the more it seems nice, I
observed how wonderful you are with kids,
Visual need to be stimulated
with what they see; always have a neat house, with harmonized
colors, be dressed elegantly in every situation (wearing jeans
can be elegant with a nice matching color and style top). Be
sexy. For lovemaking, always have a little light, or candle,
because it turns them on to see their partner enjoying sex. Look
in the eyes show them that you care for them and you are attentive.
Visuals like to make scenarios.
They usually dont rush
in the lovemaking because they need to admire first. They need
to see it. Also, they dont communicate
in words their feelings. They show them instead. Be sensitive
to their generosity. Dont share your feelings too early
in the relationship. Show them instead how you feel and how you
are. Theyll get the picture.
Auditory will be worried about
the noise in the house. Quietness and great music atmosphere
sure gets them to come around often. Use a soft voice when speaking
to them even when you are fighting. You will need to speak in
sound language; your voice turns me on,
that has a negative ring, tell
me, what do you think? Im listening,
this sounds wonderful, the rhythm
is perfect, etc.. Think verbal reassurance. Looking in the eye
wont have the same effect. Auditory often ask if you love
them. For lovemaking, use a sensual sweet radio voice
in their ear.
Describe how you feel during
the heat of the passion. Sounds of lovemaking will have a powerful
effect on them. They usually dont notice the new dress
or new haircut that you just had, but they will gladly listen
on how you got that new dress or new haircut, as long as they
are in an environment that allows listening. They are really
interested in who you are. Not on how you look. They are the
With a Feeling person, use feelings
word; that feels good, Id hate
to disappoint you, I dont really
connect with that person, I cant
wait to touch you, I feel
that we are going somewhere, let me give you a massage,
etc...They can be perceived a passionate people because they
express their feelings so much. They need to know how you feel,
very early in the relationship. They expect to be touched by
their partner a lot and they do the same.
They often complain about insensitivity
of their partners. Play with their hair while you talk to them,
in the car, while you are driving, keep one hand on the leg,
take walks and hold hands, wear satin underwear, make hot bath,
etc...Feeling people can make lovemaking in any situation because
they need the touch only. They are not necessarily the neat one
or the most elegant either, but they will truly appreciate the
Pay attention of the dominant
type of you and your partners. Practice the appropriate
communication style until it becomes natural. Reducing challenges
in a relationship increases the chances of lasting romance. Now,
you have a way to capture the heart of anyone that you want,
if you are single, and you can re-ignite the fire if you are
in an unsatisfying relationship and get what you and your partner
wants, because the connection will be deeper. I am a strong believer
of ''say anything that you want'' to your partner. But, there
are ways of saying things. You just learned on how to make yourself
heard and understood properly and receive your partner's needs
and caring expressions right.
Believe me. Youll see the