Come Across Yourself

By Christina Veal.

I'm sitting on a wooden chair my grandmother hates to see rocked on its heels. My skirt reveals the legs I trample to the gym when I'm motivated and my makeup begins to feel like a sticky mess. I'm on the brink of tears and yet I can't understand why, because I don't care about my sticky makeup or the chair that will break one day if I don't stop torturing it. I got the job interview and I found out "the one" who works next door has a mutual interest. I'm making a steady flow of cash and looking into purchasing a decent car.

My body confidence feels less depleted each day and my hair behaves more than it used to. On top of this I have a multitude of friends and plenty of things to do despite the fact I'm working 40 hours a week and going to school full time. In essence I am complete by societal standards. This remains the reason I wonder time and time again why I feel so lonely even when everyone's surrounding me and my body looks great and "the one" smiles and my paychecks keep my account active. Then I realize I have just begun to see the true value of life beyond the downtown rendezvous' and racy soap opera nights and friends galore. My mind picks apart the fluffy marshmallow pieces and places them on scattered continents lurking inside my brain. I witness these pieces getting devoured immediately, upon first contact with the infamous "reality". The true value of life is finding who we are, not being appreciated by the masses and having money to spare. To know who you are and to have a strong sense of self saves years of anguish.

Here's my list:

Step beyond selfishness.
Things have always come pretty easily for me. Because of this I have a hard time adapting to certain conditions when I can't have immediate gratification. I'll find myself worrying more about my new flip phone or my Victoria's Secret purchases rather than the friend who's crying in front of me about the boyfriend I never liked. It's not the reason she's crying, it's the very fact that she is. I've started to learn what means more in life, because material things come and go. If I expect to have a strong foundation of friends I must help build it up too, not just walk upon it without the effort.

Never mind the stupid things you said.
Chances are they don't really care enough to have remembered, and if they do they're tossing a good chance to know you away, and that makes them foolish people. Insert moving on here.

Stop obsessing over things you can't control.
There's this guy who works next door to me, and I've had a thing for him since the day we first talked when he came in. He says he's interested but not wanting to settle down because his snowboarding instructor duties are calling back home in Colorado. Basically, you meet the best people at the worst times, and just like anything else in life, there are things you just can't control no matter how much you go against the grain. So take time to breathe and say who cares or so what or I have a life outside of obsessing over things beyond my control.

Make an effort. And never mind if they notice.
We don't care about your charitable efforts, we care about your beauty (words society echoes). Doing good things for other people shouldn't be about getting praise. Instead, be concerned with the simple act of making someone's day, regardless of who's watching.

Maintain a beautiful mind, not just a beautiful figure.
Yes, you look gorgeous in that dress and your hair is absolutely amazing. But what are your thoughts and all those other important things we attribute to having, shall we say, a brain? Learning how to get in touch with yourself mentally will reduce those ten million worries you lay awake about each night. The mind is the most powerful thing we have and
thus what affects us the greatest, so learn how to take care of it.

Stop s-t-r-e-s-s-i-n-g.
Want to look back when you're older and think about all the things you turned into stress fests or would you prefer a happy existence years down the road? Chances are you'll be appreciating the latter. Stress is what makes us the insane multi-tasking people we are, and there's nothing wrong with that. To be stressed is not a terrible thing, in fact it's been said that a level of comfortable stress helps us feel more productive anyway. Of course, in the world today we often step beyond that line of comfortable stress and resort to breaking down completely. To help combat stress and bring it to a healthy level, make a list of what you would call "stressors" in your life right now, and then come up with reasonable solutions. Maybe construct that to-do list you've been meaning to, or go to the gym more often. Whatever your style, always remember unhealthy stress is the silent killer of your ultimate happiness.

And last but not least, appreciate every millisecond of your life. Smile and laugh every moment you get.