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Over The Limit
I am a legally
separated man who is going through a divorce. A friend introduced
me to his girlfriend about a year ago . We immediately took to
each other, but until a month ago we didn’t realize how
the other one felt.
I was happily
married when we met, but my wife fooled around on me so we split
up. Anyway, I started talking to my friend’s girlfriend.
While he was away for two weeks of job training, we began seeing
each other.
We both want
to be together but don’t know what to do. She is four months
pregnant by him and is happy with him . On the other hand, she
wants me and I really want her. Do you have any suggestion on
how I, or we, should handle this situation?
~ Ron |
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Ron, the last time I saw anything
this tangled, it was opening day of trout season. Fishermen were
lined up elbow to elbow on the bank, and there was not enough
room to cast. Two men even caught the same fish, which sounds
a lot like your situation.
I would think
pregnancy would set the hook for this woman, but your lure caught
her eye. She doesn’t act like she’s been caught, though.
At any moment she could reject both of you and move on to someone
else.
This woman is
not a keeper. You are involved with a woman like your wife. The
difference is you are in another role, about to betray a friend.
This is not a positive direction for your life.
Play out your
marriage to its conclusion, and let this woman determine the
relationship she will have with the father of her child.
There will be
another trout season next year. Give yourself a break. Next season
when you are free to go fishing, find a quiet stream before you
drop a line in the water.
~ Tamara
Closer Than
You Think
Well, that’s
it! I have had my heart broken for the last time. I give up on
love. I’m sick and tired of women. One minute they love
you and the next minute they don’t. I just don’t get
it, so I give up .
I have thought
about this for a long time. Who needs this garbage? Well I did,
but not anymore. Thanks to everyone I gave my heart to and who
threw it in the trash. If it is meant to be that I spend the
rest of my life alone, then so be it.
~ Duncan
Duncan, I hear your anger and
frustration loud and clear. Everywhere you go you see happy couples.
It seems like you’re the only guy in the world who doesn’t
have someone.
Let’s go
to the pub and have a brew. Just you and me . Good riddance to
women! Who needs ‘em! We’ll talk sports and politics
and bore ourselves silly, because deep down we know what we really
want and need is love. Deep down we know we’ll never give
up because to give up on love is to give up on life.
You talk about
falling out of love. You fall out of boats, but you don’t
fall out of love. You fall out of like. Like is that temporary
thing, the feeling of newness, infatuation, and sexual attraction.
It feels great while it lasts, but when the negatives outweigh
the positives, it’s over. And when it’s over, it feels
like you fell out of a boat.
The real deal
isn’t like that. When you get to the point where you’re
not playing games with anyone on any level, when you get to the
point where you are just living your life, doing what’s
in you to do, that’s when the right person can finally see
you and you can see them. That’s when you find the love
that lasts a lifetime. That’s how it happened for me.
~ Wayne
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Authors and columnists
Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters
to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email:
DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Direct Answers
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 Direct
Answers Archive 2009
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Answers Archive 2010 |
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