- Your Family -- Healthy or Supercharged??
By Jeffrey Murrah
Exactly what is a healthy family?
Contemporary American culture idealizes the 'supercharged' family.
This family, like the Energizer bunny, goes, and goes, and goes....
This supercharged family has met reality head-on. It is not a
stable family; it is not a healthy family.
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The first step toward emotionally
healthy families is seceding from the mindless materialism and
vulgarity of contemporary American society. Once this step is
underway, parents can focus on changing their family. Change
begins with family members talking to each other, and spending
time together.
The second step is realizing
that having an emotionally healthy family is a process. This
occurs gradually and is something the family members must work
to achieve and maintain.
Family health, like physical
health, can deteriorate. Healthy functioning requires much effort,
yet becomes a rewarding way of life. |
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Following are some characteristics
of healthy families. These characteristics are achievable through
effort by both parents and children. They are achieved a little
at a time, yet are well worth the effort.
Members of healthy families share
their feelings with each other in a non-threatening manner. Anger
is expressed without attacking the offending party. Criticism
is not perceived as a personal attack. Problems are worked through,
rather than avoided or turned into opportunities for the family
to fragment.
Family members give trust and
acceptance. They are accountable to each other and the moral
code of their beliefs. Healthy families worship and share spiritual
growth together. This is a family held together by bonds of loyalty,
love and tradition, rather than force, guilt and fear.
Rules and expectations are clear
and consistent. Communication is open and direct, rather than
filled with hidden loyalties and secrets. Change is tolerated,
and family members are willing to live with the unchangeable.
Since they are secure in their identity, people and ideas that
are different are not seen as threats.
Growth and achievements are celebrated
within healthy families. Such events are not viewed as threatening,
but as successes shared among the members. Events such as birthdays
and holidays are enjoyed rather than dreaded.
Parents make themselves available
to their children. Even in their availability, the parents remain
in the parental role and do not attempt to become the child's
'best friend.'
The family often serves as a
shock absorber to changes in society. An emotionally healthy
family will provide a smoother ride for its members and the community.
Striving to become a healthy family is an investment of time
and effort whose return exceeds that of the stock exchange. Families,
like any endeavor, provide rewards commensurate to the time and
effort spent in maintenance. |
Beauty Secrets of
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