Rebuilding:

How to Turn Your Life Around with Powerful Thoughts
By: Jennifer Snyder

 

I hate to admit it now, but after my divorce, I spent more than one Sunday afternoon in bed playing “Uber-Damsel in Distress”. Growing older and wiser may result in a plethora of gray hair, but am I ever glad that those days are over.

A script similar to my own dramatic whining will follow later in this article. This isn’t the first commentary I have written about acknowledging one’s power, but this is the first article I’ve penned with a film and scientific data to support my motivational claims. We recently rented the movie, What The Bleep Do We Know. At the core of this film are the provocative questions about the way we participate, consciously or not, in an unfolding reality. I found many parts of this movie to be fascinating, but the section that resonated most clearly for me was a part about the brain. You may not accept all of the scientists’ claims but if their points are valid, what I’m going to share with you can change your life.

The way I understand the theory about brain function in What The Bleep is that if we think a certain way for long enough, those connections between brain cells are strengthened and we automatically default to that way of thinking.

Throughout our day, we make decisions about what events mean and what should be done about them. We aren’t required to make a new decision with each circumstance because with repeated experiences, our brain forms associations. Thus, if we accept limited power for long enough, we begin to automatically go through life as a victim.

If, however, we begin responding in a new way, we not only break free from victim thinking and experience happier outcomes, but we reprogram the connections between brain cells so that positive thinking is the direction in which they default. By choosing fresh, creative responses we truly begin to experience a more positive, powerful life.

Okay, let’s put this theory into Jennifer’s mournful role-play from a decade ago:

Setting: Darkened bedroom; our main character (the dramatic victim) is in bed, almost hidden by the covers over her head.

Plot: Our main character lives primarily in fear and agrees to anything her former husband demands because “he is powerful”, and she hates controversy. This latest dilemma is only more of the same in an endless cycle perpetuated by her limited beliefs.
Lights…camera…action.

And we roll:

“There’s nothing I can do. I can’t fight; he’s so powerful and can squash me like a bug. I know I’ve said it before, but there’s nothing I can do. Yes, I’ll probably lose the house and have to live under an overpass. Yes, even though I’m a great mother he may sway someone into believing my children shouldn’t live with me. Yes, I’ll probably grow old all by myself, and…”

Cut!

Couldn’t you almost hear those brain cells leaping into their familiar, defeatist patterns?

I warned you that it wasn’t pretty. Let’s get away from this angst.

But wait - before we shift our thinking and turn things around, I must admit that the next step isn’t an easy one. It will require you to pay attention to every reaction, and everything you say, for a while.

Back in the early 90s, I wasn’t blessed with the knowledge I’m sharing with you. I believe that courage, support, and experience gradually liberated me from my own limited beliefs. Otherwise, it would have taken that first stage of a rocket to launch this woman from her boudoir of despair.

But you have the luxury of current information. How can you rewrite your own script for powerful thinking, positive brain connections, and better results?

Still allowing for just a little drama, how about this reaction:

“Man, I would hate to be so unhappy that I had to express my authority in disagreeable ways. Okay, I’m not willing to give in to this demand but I can be a little more flexible in another area Let me return his call now so we can move beyond this difficulty. I am so grateful to have supportive friends who listen, and help me to problem solve. At least this relationship gave us wonderful children.”

New responses and realigned connections in your brain aren’t made overnight, but once they have been established, you’ll proclaim your power like never before.