Rebuilding: Proclaim Your Power!

By: Jennifer Snyder

This is the mantra I’ve been exclaiming since I began coaching and facilitating workshops for separated and divorced women.

“Proclaim your power!”

These three words are written in every email and letter that leaves my office, and expressed verbally to every woman whose path I cross. Susan Cowsill can be heard singing, “Nothing can stop me now, and it never could anyhow…” on the website’s introduction.

But how does one proclaim their power when faced with fear and overwhelm, with sadness by the loss of their marriage? While not minimizing the wide range of deep emotions that accompany separation and divorce, there are some very basic steps that women can take in order to restore self confidence and build an ideal life on their own. Five steps that can easily be recalled by remembering P-O-W-E-R are: PLAN: Start setting goals for yourself and making plans to achieve what you want in the future. During our initial conversations, I often hear coaching clients say, “I feel like I don’t have any control over my life. Things just happen to me and I’m forced to react”. Together, we work hard to determine what the client dreams of having in her life and we begin making plans so she will achieve it.

OWN YOUR LIFE’S STORY: For most of us, the adage about hindsight being 20-20 is probably true. The knowledge we have today may have led us to making other choices - but at least we have that knowledge, and can benefit from those experiences as we make future decisions. Acknowledge your personal history. Own every one of your challenges and triumphs.

WELCOME SUPPORT: Accept help and friendship from family and friends who are kind enough to offer it. Don’t let pride get in the way during a time you might be most vulnerable. I learned long ago that allowing others to reciprocate support is truly a shared blessing.

EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY: The landscape of separation and divorce is new territory. It will often feel like you are venturing onto a new continent without a road map or visitor’s guide. Keep in mind that there is no single perfect route. Take risks that feel right for you and your family no matter how daunting they may seem.

RELAX: Take time for yourself even when you feel you can least afford it. You cannot give to others what you don’t have reserved within yourself. You may be facing the pressures of earning more money or increased parenting responsibilities, but you cannot do what needs to be done until you first care for yourself. Take time each day to assess your own needs and do something nurturing to satisfy them.

The true spirit of my work is to inspire record numbers of separated and divorced women to proclaim their power. You already have everything you need to navigate these five steps to P-O-W-E-R. Are you ready to proclaim your own?