- Hobbies for Couples:
- How to End Solo Sport Resentment and
Create a Lifetime Bond at the Same Time
By: Kristie McDonald
One of the best ways to strengthen
love is through friendship. And, one of the best ways to build
friendship is through good old-fashioned play.
Now, of course, this may require
some cozy conversation over a good glass of Chardonnay to remember
what good old-fashioned fun was really like. But well worth the
effort, according to a recent study that showed a strong correlation
between love and play.
Couples who bonded through shared
recreational activities rated their relationship satisfaction
significantly higher than couples who did not make the time to
keep their feelings of being "best friends" alive.
Furthermore, the study also revealed that this bond of friendship
helped couples weather both everyday stresses as well as unexpected
life changing events with greater resiliency and less conflict.
How to Become "Best Friends"
Looking back, I now realize that
one of the smartest things my husband ever did in our relationship
was getting me involved in his hobbies. Fortunately, this occurred
after he converted his love of drag racing into a safer expression
of the sport RC (radio-controlled nitro racing).
So now instead of squabbling
over how much he's spending on his hobby, I'm behind him 100
percent because "racing" is no longer something he
goes off and does by himself. We do it together, because I like
And although RC may not fit the
bill for every couple, it's a great example of reframing the
experience of a solo sport that otherwise would commonly cause
resentment in a relationship. Ever heard the expression "golf
3 Top Tips to Reframing the
Solo Sport Experience to Keep Your Relationship Growing Strong
1. Make it a "no scoreboard zone." --
I'm sure there are myriad permutations and computations that
a couple could come up with so they could pursue a hobby or sport
together. And it doesn't matter whether you're good at it or
not. The objective of playing together is to just have fun.
2. Create an evening where you make a game out of
talking about some of your favorite childhood activities. Take
turns describing how excited you felt every time you had a chance
to play. Now see if you can come up with an adult version that
expresses similar qualities. If nothing strikes you, let loose
and play "let's pretend" and make up an activity of
3. Create an exciting atmosphere that allows you
to relive your childhood memories. RC is our thing because I
enjoy watching the excitement on my husband's face. It's endearing
to see "the child" in the person you love. And most
importantly, RC let's me get closer to my husband. Being inside
the same world together creates a camaraderie that isn't possible
when you just go out to the movies.
While it is easy for the demands
of daily living to take precedence over one's marriage or relationship,
it is important for couples to communicate with each other and
to jointly determine ways to strengthen their marriage.
One way to strengthen your bond
is to end solo sport resentment. Activity ideas for spending
quality time with your spouse are only limited by your own imagination.
Just do things that you and your spouse will enjoy doing together.
Just have fun being together!