Feng Shui for Widows and Divorcees

by Marie O'Neill

I am sure some of you may read the title and think, “OK, this should be good; I will read it for entertainment and if I get more, all the better.” The practice of feng shui uses the ancient Chinese art of Chi. Chi is energy. It has nothing to do with religion. There are many practitioners out there, all around the world. My purpose in writing this article is to share with you how I benefited from it. Allow me to start at the beginning. A couple of months before my husband died, I came across an ad in the paper for a feng shui practitioner advertising her services. Interested, I decided to clip the ad out of the paper and put it aside until later. I had never practiced this art myself; however, I like others had read about it in various articles and was intrigued.

As I shared, when I saw the feng shui ad, my husband was dying. We both knew this fact. We had also just moved to a new town a few months earlier and into a new home. When we moved, all I could do was put the furniture in the house. My husband and I were in the fight of our lives…. for his life. (I hear your question: Why would you decide to move if your husband is dying? That answer, will have to come in another article.) So when I saw the ad a few months later, I knew I couldn’t act on it.

After my husband died I pulled the ad out of the drawer and called the practitioner. I needed distraction from my pain and getting the house in better shape was the recipe. Jan, the feng shui practitioner, was very nice on the phone and she asked lots of questions to get to know me. I learned a bit more about what this practice really entailed. I thought it was just about placing furniture in a room, in the best position for chi movement. (I thought I was smart because I knew the word and meaning of chi) I learned that Jan is a traditionalist when it comes to this art. She practices the Black Sect tradition. I had never heard of this or any other tradition. I thought it was all the same; little did I know.

We made an appointment for a consultation at my home. She let me know up front that this would take about 4 hours. WOW, I thought she would just come and make a few suggestions and be gone. Anyway, I can’t tell you everything she did because it would be unethical for me to do so. What I can tell you is that it was a wonderful experience. I implemented all of her suggestions. It took me a while to do so, but I got it all done.

Funny thing though, I started noticing shifts in my energy and what was happening in my life, as I would make the changes. A part of me thought the shifts were flukes, but that wasn’t the case. Being a skeptical person, I really started paying attention to the things that were happening to me. I also noticed that people who visited my home, rarely wanted to leave it. They told me that my home felt welcoming and relaxing. They leave their cares at the door. In fact, at times it is necessary for me to hint to a person that it is past my bed time or that I have to run an errand.

My original intent in having a practitioner use feng shui in my home was to simply receive help in putting my furniture in the best locations. What I got was so much more. I know this sounds strange but having my home in balance has helped me heal from losing my husband. It is my refuge and my place of peace. I travel a lot and I love the places I go. But, I am always happy when I enter my front door. It is as though the house welcomes me home.

If you are someone who has lost your spouse, you have to look at your environment when it comes to healing. There is a direct correlation between your environment and how well you heal. We all want to live vibrant robust lives and one of the best ways to do this is to balance your home. Is your environment safe; is it comfortable? How does your home make you feel? Have you ever thought about enhancing your healing process by enhancing your home?

I am not suggesting you go out and buy a book on feng shui. As I stated earlier, there are a few different schools of feng shui; and most of the books don’t make the distinctions. I have heard people say they get confused because one book tells them something and another says something else, concerning the same subject.

The best way to learn what your home needs is to hire a practitioner. These people have been to school to learn this art. Some have practiced for many years. There is no way you can read a book and know how to apply it’s suggestions to your situation.

I am a stickler for certifications, so make sure who ever you use is certified. Have them tell you the name of the school and do check them out before hiring them. Also make sure they have been in business for a while. Use your judgment and instincts. I have listed the name of the practitioner I used, on my web site. Feel free to contact her. She is available for phone consultations, if you are not in her area. Hiring a feng shui practitioner was one of the best decisions I made for myself.