Time-Out vs. Time-In!
By Rachel Webb
Have you ever put yourself in time-out? I have! Sometimes I want
time-out from the house-work. Time-out from fighting kids. Time-out
from laundry. My problem is that I often don't want to come out
of "time-out". My room is peaceful and I can avoid
all the negative that real life can bring with it. I like time-out
and I don't care if I ever let myself out of my room for "Time-In".
I'm sure I'm not the only mom out there who has felt like this,
but what can we learn from it to become better parents?
Using Time-out for bad behavior
is hardly a new concept and every classroom I have ever been
in has used it in some form or another. But as our childs "teachers"
in life, we need to be reminded about the rules for a successful
Time Out will not be effective
if you don't have time-in. Time-in is the "Good Stuff"
a child likes. If a child has nothing to lose by going to time-out,
and no incentive to be apart of Time-in, it won't work.
Time-in for fun with the rest
of the family. Time-in for happy activities. Time-in needs to
seem like thee place to be and the starkest contrast to time-out
as you can make it appear. Just as I need positive incentive
to come out of my room and be the mom again...kids need the incentive
too. Sometimes when one of our children is sent to time out my
husband and I will immediately start a family game or have an
impromptu dance to their favorite music. Anything to make time-in
fun. Sometimes we will loudly say, "Oh I wish so-&-so
could be here to join us" :) It is more effective said to
other Time-in kids and family members, where the time-out child
can overhear, then if we say it to them personally. Why?
You shouldn't talk to your child
when they are in time-out. The idea is to take away the good
stuff for awhile and your attention is one of those good things.
BE A "5-1" PARENT
For every time you your child
goes to time-out for misbehavior, provide 5 opportunities for
them to earn praise or reward.
END WITH LOVE!
When something has upset a child,
having each parent give an additional 50 touches a day is a good
form of "medicine." Remember this phrase: "When
in Reach, Reach Out!"